[Collected Thoughts]

Sometimes she didn't feel able to be around anyone.
Faced with the unpleasant realization that her own circle of friends was far more smaller than it had ever been.
Drifted away from the few friends she'd had due to the platonic changes.
With a strong prejudice.
She abused everyone who wronged her, as imbecile and bourgeois.
She would've spared them forgiveness if they hadn't mortified her pride.
She haven't have enough control of her frustration.
All men are prideful - she thought.
Women have been giving themselves to men since men are old enough to notice them.
Should a fine young man think highly of himself?
When fortune, family, everything in his favour.
As many people often confused, pride and vanity are often used synonymously.
Pride is our opinion of ourselves.
Vanity is what we would have others think of us.
Men, eat up with pride, or eat up with vanity.
Acting by design or adopting by desire.
Occupied in observing men's attention to women.
She couldn't find proper compliment to men.
Her inquiries were not favourably answered.
Her good opinion once lost, is lost forever.
She keep her pride under good regulation, where there is a real superiority of mind.
She'd walk the patch she's given.
With no expectation of adventure, but with the strongest curiousity.
However strong objections others have against her.

HONESTY

It all started with a pact. A pact that weight so much, it breaks everyone.

It all started with a kiss. A kiss that fills with unsettle definition.

It all started with a girl. A girl that caused the pact no longer valid.

It all started with a boy. A boy that the girl would be stupid to trust.

In one event, there can be so many reason what started it. People see things through their own filter. People would believe whatever they wanna believe. People wear a mask everyday, but, how many masks are there? The girl is afraid to know.

She believe people are good, it's in their nature. She trust people. But what if she made a mistake by trusting that someone who trespassed her trust? The question hit her right in the face. Easy influence. Now, she don't trust herself, and constantly question herself. Nobody can give me answer. Because the answer from someone else might not be true. I should know better. She is vulnerable and fragile. I break too easily. She needs answer, though she knows it's impossible to get it. It's my burden to bear now, me and my doubts, my pride, and my thoughts. She wanted to trust, wanted to love, wanted to run. Maybe I'm fooled, played, laughed, and shamed. She goes back and recall the bitter-sweet. Maybe it was real. But how real is real? What is real? Feelings change and no doubt it fades, what am I expecting?

You might say, "if she's smart, she would stay away from trouble." Well, for argument sake, she's not smart. She just need to know the truth. But then again, who is she to be so demanding. I'm nobody.

Things she knows people have been talking about, things she heard. Hurts, a lot. . But she won't complain, she can't. She's not a whiny girl, she don't get mad, or get even. I accept, it's all I can do. 

Did she not earned the love or did she not earned anything at all.

Does she not worth the honesty or does she not worth anything at all.

Does people need to find reason to blame to make them feel better or does people is that fragile.

Does anyone understand the meaning of the 3 words and 8 letters? Or people are abusing it just to get attention?

You have the keys, why pick the lock? You stupid fuck...